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Sex comes with consequences. So does affection.
You think its a one time thing. It isn’t. You will keep wanting more.
It might be sex for someone else. It might be love to you. Doesn’t matter. That’s the way of the world.
Just because its easy for someone else to be cool and detached and not feel a thing, doesn’t mean that’s the norm.
Life can be a bitch sometimes, and hit you really hard and you might have a tough time grappling with reality.
Accept that you feel.
Do not apologize for being sensitive.
Yes it is hard to move on. Don’t believe people who say it’s not.
Don’t settle for casual flings if you are not a “no labels casual fling girl”
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It will only hurt and hurt and you will end fucking it up.
Don’t settle for a relationship if all you want is a casual fling.
When you are not ready, you are not ready.
No one can make you ready.
Be honest in what you say and do.
Don’t say something and mean something and do something.
That’s not fair on anyone.
Manipulative behavior comes in many forms.
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Don’t date someone who wants a fling but behaves like a lover. It will slowly drive you crazy.
Don’t be with someone, who claims to love you but treats you like a fling.
Ask yourself if you are a friends with benefits person. Screw it if you are not. Say no.
You cannot be friends with benefits with someone you love. Or have any feeling for. People who do it just lie because they don’t want to admit its them and not the other person.
Rejection isn’t easy to gulp down. whiskey shots are way easier.
Life isn’t about pleasing everyone and getting leftover scraps of what seems like love but isn’t.
You are gonna fall in love anyway despite trying really hard not to. Loneliness gets to everyone.
Mostly with someone who doesn’t give a fuck, because the past pattern of trauma in your life refuses to go away, and all you do is get attracted to people who don’t really care about you.
He is mean to you because he likes you, as the saying goes.
It isn’t true.
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Don’t go by what people say. Go by what people do. And when they do nothing to show that they care, they actually do not care.
Which is fine. The world doesn’t owe shit to you.
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Will you find someone who won’t give you panic attacks, gaslight you or make you feel there’s something wrong with you?
I don’t know. But don’t go about asking anyone else. They do not know either. They just pretend to, but everyone’s as clueless as you. You will regret if you follow whatever shit they come up with.
Its important to hit rock bottom sometimes. Its important to have that mental breakdown.
Fuck it all up. Fix it. Start again.
Even though the episode you had last night, seems so cringed every time you remember it( oh god pallavi, how could you be so needy), its good you had it. Its good when you are at your worst and there’s no one around.
It makes you capable of saving yourself. It makes you face the fact that people who claim to love you, perhaps don’t love you or perhaps can’t love you the way you want them to.
You are not dead. Not yet.
You are breathing, and you are feeling low, and you are crying but that’s about it.
You are alive. And as long as you are, there’s a solution. There’s a way to start all over again.
Its okay to have emotions. feeling terrible ones and good ones. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about them.
But sometimes you have to rise above them.
Its amazing to have the courage to be honest and genuine and true to oneself.
Its stupid to let everyone waltz into your life whenever they want and leave whenever they feel like.
Stop giving the entry key to your heart to any tom dick harry on the road.
Stop wearing a “everyone can come and mess up with me access card” on your forehead.
Choose the people you want to invest your time in. Let them earn your company.
Solitude won’t kill you even though it feels like it will.
Being around with people who you are not meant to be with, will certainly destroy your life.
Doesn’t mean you won’t screw up. Oh you will.
Keep Your Head High
But with every screw up, you learn.
Keep those lessons in mind.
Listen to your gut.
Cut out the background noise. Well wishers, relatives, Facebook friends, even parents, shut them all out.
Listen to you.
Do what you need to do, even if its hard.
We can do hard things.
Do not stay in a relationship or friendship or in a room that requires you to abandon yourself. No matter who they are.
Find a way to pay your rent. If that’s all you can do at the moment, even that is enough.
Your therapist is your best friend. Even if you can’t hang out with her or call her in the middle of the night. Don’t miss an appointment.
Stop expecting other people to act like your therapists.
This will get over.
The pain will go.
The suffering will end.
And if you have one thing to ask of god, its this:
“Help me to love myself in the most maddening way possible.
Give me the good sense to make decisions that put me first, before anyone else.”